It’s quite the cliché to look back on your year on this day—but this New Year’s Eve is even bigger than that, as our decade is about to come to a close.
In world news, this decade has been tumultuous and ugly and weird and I’m glad to see it go. I was thinking about the decade during my walk to work this morning and suddenly it hit me—this was the decade of my twenties. Having been born in 1979, my age directly correlates with the decades. The 90’s were my teen years, and the aughts (what an awkward term!) were my twenties. I’ve never really thought about it like that before.
When I turned thirty last January, a lot of people asked me if I was freaking out about leaving my twenties behind. I wasn’t. My twenties were fun and hectic and tumultuous and crazy and wild. I learned a lot about the world and even more about myself. I had lots of triumphs, made a ton of mistakes, met some wonderful people, lost family members, gained family members, started a career and lived in many different apartments in many different cities. All of my experiences have forged the person I am today. But in my thirties I look forward to the whirlwind settling down a little: I plan to get married, start a family… well, maybe not settling down so much. A different kind of crazy, more like.
Bored in rehearsal today, I started making a list of the important events of my Aughts, in a vaguely chronological order. It’s strange to see how much I’ve packed into ten short years. And I don’t even recognize the twenty-year-old I was at the beginning of the decade—she seems like an entirely different person. And so very young!
So here’s what happened to me this decade, starting from that headstrong and confused twenty-year-old Sara in 2000, trying to figure out her decade.
LEAVING PITTSBURGH
I quit college at SUNY Fredonia after one year, frustrated and love-sick. I was in college for acting, but I hated it. I was also dating Kevin, who was living in Pittsburgh at the time. I hated college and I hated being away from my boyfriend, so I decided to quit, move to Pittsburgh and find myself.
And I did. In Pittsburgh I found a new career: stage management. I also discovered that I could do it on my own in a big city, and that Kevin and I weren’t meant to be. Mostly because I was gay, but there were many other factors as well. Needless to say, my parents were overjoyed when I left both him and Pittsburgh behind, but I was already moving on…
COLLEGE (THE SECOND TIME)
Getting accepted to SUNY Purchase was a dream come true for me. It is notoriously difficult to get into their Design/Technology program and even more difficult to actually graduate from it. But I did it. I survived shitty dorm living, intense class work, strikes on Sundays, Dan Hanessian, being a freshman, a certain grad student, D/T football, the dining hall food fights, the end of the year party, the operas, crazy directors, loose-cannon acting students, Set Design I, and September 11th twenty minutes outside of New York City. It was a whirlwind, and after it all had passed I came away with a degree in stage management and a wonderfully dysfunctional theater family who I know will have my back always, no matter what.
SHADOWLAND THEATRE
Every summer for five summers beginning my sophomore year at Purchase I worked at Shadowland Theatre in Ellenville, NY. Those were some of the best summers of my life. I learned so much about stage managing from the down-and-dirty work of summer stock, and I came away with plenty of crazy stories and adventures. The woman who fell down the audience stairs. The What the Butler Saw opening night. Hiking with the girls. The cast of Steel Magnolias. Sam.The audience member who pooped in her seat during a show. Carrot cake cupcakes. Drinking, dancing and singing at BG’s. Sueann introducing me to bourbon. Eating pizza in the lobby. Dave & Lisa’s wedding. Going out to dinner with Bill. The Elting House kitchen-bedroom. The 4th of July parades. BBQ’s at the Eckert’s. Getting to know and be friends with Rachel, watching her grow up from a shy fourteen-year-old volunteer to one of the finest backstage crew people I have ever worked with to a professional lighting designer. Daytrips to New Paltz and Woodstock. Painting the floor for A Couple of Blaguards. Our first scary show, The Woman in Black. Directing Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune—Bill and Sueann gave this first-time director a dream come true. Mostly I remember Bill, my mentor, my friend, the patriarch of my theater family.
PHILADELPHIA
I had no idea where I was going after I graduated from college. I literally got out my Regional Theater Directory and sent out a resume to every Equity theater in the United States. Only three called me back—one in California, one in Cincinnati, and one in Philadelphia. Seth Rozin from InterAct Theatre Company in Philadelphia graciously allowed me to interview over the phone, as I was stuck in tech at Shadowland. I remember exactly where I was when he called me back to offer me the job. Philadelphia it was. I love this city. From my first apartment in Chestnut Hill to my Christian Street apartment with Danielle and then later Alison to living with Deb on 2 Street (okay, that place wasn’t the best) to my current apartment, I have loved this city and the people in it. I’m so grateful to Seth for bringing me here. This city and I work well together. I spent two seasons at InterAct, where I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life...
DEB
I met Deb through a sound designer I was working with at InterAct. We discovered we lived close to each other in Chestnut Hill, so we began to carpool. Deb was her roommate, and it was pretty much love at first sight. Five years later, we're planning to get married and have kids. I couldn't imagine life without her.
COMING OUT
Meeting Deb and enjoying the very first stable and long-term relationship of my life was amazing, but of course it meant that I couldn't keep my sexuality hidden any longer. I spent most of my late teens and early twenties trying desperately to date men, hoping this pesky gay would go away if I could just meet the right guy. I never did meet the right guy, and although I did end up dating some very nice guys, it never worked out for some reason. And then I met Deb and it all clicked. Still, telling my parents wasn't easy. And to be honest, there are times when me being gay is still tough for my family. But I have never doubted their love and support for a second, so I am confident that we will continue to foster growth and understanding in the decade to come.
Coming out to my friends, however, was pretty much a non-event. You gotta love theater people for that level of acceptance.
WALNUT STREET THEATRE
Getting the job at the Walnut Street Theatre was huge for me. It was a huge step up career-wise, and I was so happy to have stable stage management work in a very supportive atmosphere. I just began my fourth season here at the Walnut-- who knows what the decade ahead holds for me?
ADDITIONS/SUBTRACTIONS
This decade saw many additions to my family. I gained a sister (yay, Maria!), three second cousins (Maggie, Rachel & Harper) and a life-partner, not to mention a fat kitty named Betty and a goofy greyhound named Hyde.
I lost my Grandpa Tompkins. He was the best grandpa a girl could hope for-- I'll never forget his sly humor, his awesome fire-making skills and his homey meals. He was "kickin" to the last second, and his love for his grandchildren knew no bounds. I think of him every day, as I inherited his awesomely 60's kitchen table and a bunch of his kitchen stuff. Every time I sit at that table or use his utensils I feel like a little bit of him is with me. I'll never forget you, grandpa!
MISCELLANEOUS
The odds and ends from this decade: my mom's store burning down (the new store is awesome-- yay!), turning thirty, my best friend Weas' wedding, getting four tattoos and a nose piercing, becoming a vegetarian, developing a love for cooking and gardening, that New Year's in Vegas, teaching myself how to knit and cross stitch, learning to love my body at any size, that awesome summer that I spent with Weas, Amanda and Matt at the dinner theater, learning to accept and embrace differences in others, Joseph graduating from high school, Jonathan moving to Puerto Rico, developing an incredibly close set of friends here in Philly (I'm looking at you-- Mel, AJ, Amanda, Alison, Arizona, Lindsay, Carrie, Dalice, Beth), taking a burlesque dance class, stage managing for the Philly Fringe Festival and mostly.....
Learning slowly, painfully how to love myself.
So goodbye, aughts. Goodbye, twenties. Hello new decade, full of promise and possibility. I can't wait to see what you hold.
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