All Trash, All the Time

Sunday night 2nd Street had more trash on it than the day after New Year's. The party was a raging sucess, and as far as we know, no one got pregnant. Here are some of my favorite moments of the night. A huge thank you to everyone who came, and who really brought their A game with some awesomely trashy costumes.

Of course by now you know that me, Deb, Melanie, AJ and Kelley Faulkner went as polygamous fundamentalists. Our outfits were a huge hit, and our unibrows impressed everyone. I was even told that mine was a little sexy. Okay, that's going a bit far, but it was nice to be appreciated in one of my uglier moments.

As we waited for the party to start, the "family" watched the Phillies game. (l-r) Deb, Melanie (classy as ever) and our husband, AJ.


Soon Michele Traub showed up as a trashy mother. With a drink, of course.


And Jess Hogan came as Michele's trashy son. Who had a Mac attack, apparently. Love it!


Rachel and Leo as Dog the Bounty Hunter and wife, Beth. They later arrested our baby.


Hey look! It's Joe and Josephine Sixpack with their hero, Sarah Palin! L-R: Steve, Dalice, Sara.


This is how our family rolls.


And the grand prize winners of our costume contest, Amanda and Beth as Jimmy and Tammy Faye Baker. As always, they were super committed to their concept, preaching and converting party-goers all night.


And, as I drunkenly labelled them later in the evening, the Slutty Apprentices. L-R: costume apprentice Alison, wig apprentice Rachel, costume apprentice Julia and MY apprentice Melissa.


Touch tummies! Lindsay and Carrie came as actual white trash. Hilarious!


Sister wife Kelley tries a pork rind for the very first time. It's good for that bun in the oven she's sporting!


Me and my "husband" AJ. Don't we look.... frightening?


Jimmy Baker saves sister wife Kelley's baby. You know, for Jesus.


Jim Baker and husband AJ get DOWN!


I beat the word of god into slutty apprentice Julia. She looks so innocent.


Rob and Stephanie came as a North Philly prom couple. They were amazing. Here they get freaky while Alison and Bridget look on.


This might be my favorite picture of the night. Perfectly trashy, on so many levels. Rob and Alison, ladies and gentlemen.


We are sister wives and we will CUT you. L-R: Kelley, me, Melanie.


Sister wife Kelley is very devoted to our prophet.


Mark Murphy, everyone!


Husband AJ reads the good word to sister wife Kelley.


Ah, the day after... let me please point out the fake nails, fake flower and beer straw.

Our apartment had that wonderful stale beer and cigarette scent as we stumbled from the bedroom, clutching our aching heads. Also our feet stuck to the floor. But we celebrated with a trip to the Melrose Diner with Melanie and AJ and declared another huge sucess.

A big thank you to all of our super attendees! Stay tuned for next year!